Friendship |
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George is driving down the Bruce highway, when he spots his friend Wally,
standing in the middle of a huge cow paddock.
He pulls over to the side of the road and notices that Wally is just standing there,
doing nothing,
looking at nothing.
just... standing there...
George gets out of the car and walks all the way out to Wally.
"G'day Wally, what're you doing?"
"I'm trying to win a Nobel Prize."
"How? What for? Why would you win a Nobel Prize?"
"George, you're such a idiot... don't you know they award the Noble Prize to people who are out standing in their field?"
True Friendship
- When you are sad... I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the bastard who made you sad.
- When you are blue... I will try to dislodge whatever you're choking on.
- When you smile... I will know you finally got laid.
- When you are scared... I will rag on you about it every chance I get.
- When you are worried... I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be until you quit whining.
- When you are confused... I will try to use short, simple words, you know, a monosyllabic vocabulary.
- When you are sick... Stay the hell away from me until you are well again. I don't want whatever you have.
- When you fall... I will point and laugh, before I help you up.
And always remember: when life hands you lemons, get out the tequila and salt give me a call!
Christmas Spirit
The CEO of a Major corporation enjoyed a drink now and then, his favourite was peach brandy.
One of his board members made the best peach brandy and gave him a bottle each Christmas.
One year, the subordinate came to visit his CEO, who let him in happily, hoping for his usual Christmas present, he was not disappointed, but his friend told him that he had to thank him for the peach brandy at the next board meeting. He hastily agreed and thought no more of it. So the next month the CEO suddenly remembered that he had to make a public announcement that he was being supplied alcohol from a member of the board. That morning, his friend sat in the board room with a grin on his face, waiting to see the CEO's embarrassment.
The CEO climbed to his feet and addressed the board
"Before we begin, I have an announcement. I would very much like to thank my friend, Joe, for his kind gift of peaches ... and for the spirit in which they were given!"
Friendship, the difference between men and women
Friendship between Women:
A woman didn't come home one night.
The next day she told her husband that she had slept over at a girlfriend's house.
The man called his wife's 10 best friends.
None of them knew anything about it.
Those who were single asked why he didn't call last night
Friendship between Men:
A man didn't come home one night.
The next day he told his wife that he had slept over at a buddy's house.
The woman called her husband's 10 best friends.
Eight of them confirmed that he had slept over, and two claimed that he was still there.
Some friends are like a Slinkie.... They're not really
good for anything... but they still bring a smile to
your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
Our friendship means a lot to me:
you laugh
I laugh
you cry
I cry
you fall out the window
I look down
and laugh again....
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak.
