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Articles
Humour
Mostly my own experiences, thoughts, imaginings, whatever... to be honest though, some may not be entirely original, they've been rattling around in my brain for so long I can't remember which are mine and which are not.
If you know who deserves credit, please let me know.
"FRESH JOKES DAILY VIA RSS FEED!"
Who Stole Our Steed?
This just in from http://jokesandsayings.net A tandem team rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a cold drink. Unfortunately, the locals always had a habit of picking on strangers, which they were. When they finished their drinks, they found their steed had been stolen. They go back into the bar, the captain handily flips his gun into the air, catches it above his head without even looking and fires a shot into the ceiling. "WHICH ONE OF YOU SIDEWINDERS STOLE OUR STEED?" he yelled with surprising forcefulness. No one answered. "ALL RIGHT WE'RE GONNA HAVE ANOTHA COLD DRINK, AND IF OUR STEED AIN'T BACK OUTSIDE BY THE TIME WE FINISH, WE'RE GONNA DO WHAT WE DUN IN TEXAS! AND WE DON'T LIKE TO HAVE TO DO WHAT WE DUN IN TEXAS!" Some of the locals shifted restlessly. They had another cold drink, walked outside, and the tandem is back! They mount up and start to ride out of town. The bartender wanders out of the bar and asks, "Say partner, before you go... what did happen in Texas?" The captain turned back and said, "We had to walk home." |
Posted on 13 December 2011 | 7:50 am
Should We Pamper Cows?
What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk
Joke Genie, Editor
Posted on 5 December 2011 | 4:09 am
Will This Joke Boomerang?
What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick
Joke Genie, Editor
Posted on 4 December 2011 | 4:06 am
Do Eskimos Get This?
What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long? Polaroids
Joke Genie, Editor
Posted on 3 December 2011 | 4:56 am
Joke Of The Day
Checking out of the grocery store, I noticed that the bag boy was eyeing my two adopted children curiously. They often draw scrutiny, since my son is a blond Russian, while my daughter has shiny black Haitian skin. The boy, who had been previously telling funny jokes, continued staring as he carried our groceries to the car. Finally, he asked. "Those your kids?" "Yes, they are!" I answered proudly. "They adopted?" he asked. "Yes," I replied. "I thought so," he concluded. "I figured you're too old to have kids that small." |
Posted on 5 September 2011 | 12:20 pm
Your Short Jokes Leader - From A Short, But Mighty, Joke Genie
Please stay tuned for more clean jokes.
Joke Genie
Posted on 1 July 2011 | 7:54 pm
Julie, a blonde, was getting pretty desperate for money
A blonde by the name of Julie was getting pretty desperate for money.
So she decided to go to the richer part of town and try to get a job as a handywoman.
She rang the doorbell at the first house she came to, and a man answered the door.
She asked if there were any odd jobs she could do, and he replied, "Well, actually, we need the porch painted-how much do you want?" Julie said she felt $50 was fair. He replied, "OK, the ladders, paint, and other tools you need are in the garage."
When the man closed the door, his wife, who had overheard the conversation asked him, "$50?!? Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?" The man replied, "She must have, she was standing right on it."
About 45 minutes later, the doorbell rings again, and the man is surprised to find Julie there. She tells him that she's done, and states that she even had enough paint to do two coats. As the man is reaching into his wallet to pay her, Julie says, "Oh, and by the way, that isn't a Porsche-it's a Ferrari."
Joke Genie, Editor
Posted on 23 June 2011 | 3:02 pm
There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde.
There were There were three people stranded on an island, a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.
The brunette looked over the water to the mainland and estimated about 20 miles to shore. So she announced, "I'm going to try to swim to shore." So she swam out five miles, and got really tired. She swam out ten miles from the island, and she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
The second one, the redhead, said to herself, "I wonder if she made it. I guess it's better to try to get to the mainland than stay here and starve." So she attempts to swim out. The redhead had a lot more endurance than the brunette, as she swam out 10 miles before she even got tired. After 15 miles, she was too tired to go on, so she drowned.
So the blonde thought to herself, "I wonder if they made it! I think I'd better try to make it, too." So she swam out 5 miles, ten miles, fifteen miles, and finally nineteen miles from the island. The shore was just in sight, but she said, "I'm too tired to go on!" So she swam back.
Joke Genie, Editor
Posted on 21 June 2011 | 2:52 pm
A blind man enters a Lesbian bar
A blind man enters a Lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while the blind guy yells to the bartender: "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?'
A deathly silence transcends the bar. In a deep, husky, menacing voice, the woman next to him says: "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The bartender is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200lb blonde with a black belt in Karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde and she's a pro wrestler.
Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell that joke?"
The blind man pauses to think, and says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."
Joke Genie, Editor
Posted on 19 June 2011 | 2:44 pm
Why don't blind people sky dive?
Why don't blind people sky dive?
Because it would scare the hell out of their dog.
Joke Genie, Editor
Posted on 18 June 2011 | 2:43 pm
Little Timmy and Grandma
Little Timmy hears rustling in his parents' bedroom. So he pushes open the door to find his dad on his mom making love. They both look at Timmy but finish what they're doing. When they finish, the Dad says he'll take care of it.
He goes to Timmy's room and opens up the door to find Timmy on top of Grandma.
Dad screams, "Timmy, what the hell are you doing?"
Timmy replies, "Ain't so damn funny when it's YOUR mother, now is it?"
Joke Genie, Editor
Jokes - Dirty
Dirty Jokes Every Man Should Know (Pocket Companions)
Posted on 16 June 2011 | 2:43 pm
Generous lawyer
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Posted on 26 April 2011 | 4:28 pm
Redneck Joke
Breaking joke from http://jokesandsayings.net Two rednecks meet on a dusty country road. One of them is carrying a big bag labeled, "chickens." "Chickens, eh?" says one guy. "Hey, if I guess how many chickens you got, will you give me one?" "Heck," says the guy with the bag, "iffin you guess right, I'll give you both of 'em." The other scratches his head and guesses, "Um... five?" |
Posted on 29 March 2011 | 1:31 pm
Pros & Cons
Posted on 22 February 2011 | 1:38 pm
This Teacher Joke Is Peachy
http://JokesAndSayings.net/Jokes-Funny says...
Girl: My teacher's a peach.
Mother: You mean she's sweet.
Girl: No, she has a heart of stone.
Posted on 25 January 2011 | 1:15 pm
Dumb Money Joke
Posted on 18 January 2011 | 10:37 am
Joke Genie Senses That A One Liner Is Coming
Joke Genie says that a one liner or really a 2 liner is coming.
Posted on 18 January 2011 | 10:32 am
Boss Wife Advice
Posted on 10 January 2011 | 4:32 am
Dumb Joke
Please stay tuned for more funny jokes!
This blog is all about jokes.
Posted on 2 January 2011 | 4:21 pm
Lawyer Joke
A big-city lawyer was representing the railroad in a lawsuit filed by an old rancher.
Posted on 28 December 2010 | 4:45 pm
Ocean Bottom - Corny Joke
Posted on 19 December 2010 | 2:22 am
A Nerd, A Nude and a Bike
Posted on 18 December 2010 | 7:56 am
Jokes, Jokes, Jokes & Funny Vid clips
Just in time for Christmas.
Posted on 16 December 2010 | 8:22 am
Mother and Daughter Car Talk
One evening I was driving my eight-year-old daughter to her grandparents' home for an overnight stay. It was late, there was very little traffic, and we were enjoying a peaceful ride. It was a far cry from the usual chaos surrounding us when I drive her to various activities during rush hour.
My daughter seemed deep in thought when she said, "I have a question."
"What do you want to know?" I responded.
"Mom, when you're driving," she asked, "are YOU ever the idiot?"
In the Driver's Seat: A Girl's Guide to Her First Car
Posted on 13 December 2010 | 4:20 am
"What Is The Object?" asked the teacher
Mrs. Davis asked her English class, "Can anyone give me a sentence with a direct object?"
Zach raised his hand and said, "Everyone thinks you are the best teacher in the school."
"Why, thank you, Zach," replied Mrs. Davis. "And what is the object?"
"To get the best grade I can," said Zach.
Joke Genie, Editor
Posted on 12 December 2010 | 3:25 pm
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